I’ve mostly been playing League of Legends, and I am not happy about it. It’s a great game where at any given moment things can go in a million different directions. It’s also the biggest source of dopamine (and cortisol?) I have right now.
But it takes up a lot of my time and it just is NOT a joyful or satisfying experience.
I quote I stumbled across this week that’s etched itself onto the back of my eyelids:
You gotta stop going after what you want and go for things you like.
I might want to play a dumb game, but do I like it?
I might not want to make music, but I definitely like it more than most other things. Even when it’s frustrating it still ends up being more rewarding than even the best game of League where I get 20 kills and never die.
But every time I have the choice, I still go for the easy dopamine. And it really makes me hate myself.